Transition (written by Lane)
Well, we no longer live in a hospital or even an inpatient
rehab facility. We’re on our own at last, after fourteen incredibly trying
months of near-constant supervision, intensive all-day therapy, and institutionalized
food. Alone at last, and in a place of our own for the first time since we got
married, really. Yet we’re still every day faced with the reality of my injury.
There’s an awful lot I want to do, but can’t still. And now I can’t help but
remember back to last year when I just knew
I would victoriously walk out the doors of Mary Free Bed (the rehab hospital I
was at for almost 8 ½ months) carrying my bride in my arms. Then when that
didn’t happen, I decided it would be Hope Network where I’d learn to walk
again. And now here we are, out of Hope, Free Bed, and any inpatient facilities
at all. In our own apartment and I’m still wheelchair-bound with limited
arm/hand movement and a largely weak and monotone voice. Emily and I have been
experiencing a practically innumerable amount of physical transitions the past
fourteen months, which have all been exciting, but we’ve also been experiencing
a great deal of spiritual growth, which I think is far more exciting. I suppose
I could use the word “transitions” again, but this time in regards to thinking.
Because with each big physical transition has also come a significant mental
one. As I mentioned, last summer I was just convinced
I’d be healed before the year’s end. So much so that I couldn't stand the
thought of this injury taking more than a few months to heal. I couldn't bear
hearing stories of people with TBis who were five, eight, ten or even thirty
years out from their initial traumas and still weren’t totally back to the way
they had been pre-injury. In fact, that thought bothered me so much that I
would cringe whenever it was brought up. But over time, I’ve become convinced
through the undeniable evidence that this is most likely going to be the case
for me as well. And over time, I’ve become convinced through God’s objectively
true Word that this likelihood is quite alright. There’s a whole mess of truth in the Bible to
convince me of this. For starters, there’s James 1:2-4, which basically tells Christians
to think of difficult situations with joy because the trying and testing of our
faith produces patience/endurance. And as Christians allow patience to work in
our lives, it matures us(I realize the version in that link says "make you perfect", but the Greek translated "perfect" essentially means "mature"). So based on that passage, I know and am fully
confident that, if I allow Him, God’s going to use this trial/test in my life
(for however long He desires) to mature me and make me more like Christ
Himself! A similar truth is found in Romans 5:1-4. Essentially, Paul is saying
here that one of the extraordinary benefits of entering into a personal relationship
with God through faith alone in Jesus Christ alone is that when you do, you not
only have objective peace with God, you can also rejoice in suffering! What a
paradox this is, joy in trials, rejoicing in suffering. Yet it’s objectively
true, and one of the countless things in the Christian life that literally are
only possible through Christ (Philippians 4:13). So, this post more or less
sums up the mental transition Em and I’ve been going through this year. Not
because we’re great people or super-Christians, but simply because we know God
intimately through His Son Jesus Christ, and believe all His words are true
regardless of our earthly circumstances.
As I'm reading and believing ...it occurs to me to Praise God for your mind's miraculous ability to share these truths with us, your fan club! With God as President of this club I nominate you Lane to be Vice President!
ReplyDeleteThank-you so much Lane, for teaching us what God has been teaching you and Emily! Thank-you for running to God through this trial and placing your total faith in Him. Thank-you for not running away... You are both an incredible inspiration to us (members of your prayer warriors!
ReplyDeleteI am soooooo thankful and blessed to be included in your inner circle! The maturity you show belies your physical age. You are a brave and strong man Lane!! Thank you for sharing your struggles and growth with me I am humbly thankful. Standing (yes standing) with you before the throne! Xoxo
ReplyDeleteTo know about the truth that trials bring endurance and maturity is one thing. To live them out is another. Praise God that you are living them out by God's rich grace. Indeed, "the proof of your faith, being more precious than gold, which is perishable, even though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ." (1 Pet. 1:7)
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